Medical students are a completely different cohort of students. Thought to be among the most studious students throughout the world, they are much more than that. As I complete four years on my journey to become a doctor, I have realised that every medical school has a funny mixture of personalities and that’s what makes the long years of studies more entertaining.
The specific traits present in this breed of human beings are unlikely to be found in other students. Here, we present 7 medical student stereotypes, commonly found in medical schools. Figure out who you are and who you know. You can choose to love them, love to hate them, or plainly – hate them.
(PS: Please note, this quiz is merely representative. It does not intend to hurt any feelings. Do not take it very seriously!)
Q.1) Your Social Media stories normally have:
- Why waste time on social Media? There’s already too much to study and no time. Social media is focus’s worst enemy.
- Partyyyy on Saturday night. Motorbike ride to the nearest picnic spot to chill with my bros over beer (and other stuff).
- A little bit of everything. My trip to Kerala, the dance I choreographed for my brother’s Sangeet, the artwork that we did for the college festival, me winning the case presentation.
- The national-level event that I just organized. We had workshops and trainings and CME’s and cultural activities. It was awesome and SO successful. But of course, when I’m the Organizing director, it’s going to be that way!
- The stray doggie whose leg I bandaged. The child in the paediatric department whom I cheered up after her surgery.
- You holding a baby in the NICU. A very rare X-ray finding. You wearing OT clothes. After all, don’t you look dashing in your work avatar, doctor?
- Deep thoughts. Doggy forwards. Comic strips. Anything but my life. After all, why should other people on social media know everything about me?
Q.2) What’s your ideal birthday plan?
- Who has birthday parties in medical college anyway? Really don’t have the time. There’s a big quiz coming up and sem’s are just next month.
- DUDE, trip to the nearest hill-station/beach to chill. Just for 2 days. Ward exam on that day? Who cares, you only live once.
- I’ll organize a really nice party. But it’ll be complicated. After all, I’ll have to invite all my different groups of friends… and there’s so many of them. And it’ll be themed. With games. So that everyone can have fun.
- Will have the party of the YEAR! After all, I have the contacts of the best DJ, the best Caterer, the best venue and plus I’ll get brilliant discounts, because they know how influential I am and how many events I plan every year. Plus, I’ll be getting birthday wishes from all my hundreds of friends whom I’ve met at events across the country!
- Going to donate blood this year. Last year I cut my hair and donated it to cancer patients. It’s my chance to give back a little to society.
- EMERGENCY MEDICINE themed birthday party!! Everyone will get a chance to do IV cannulations and Intubations! And then we can cut a cake shaped like a stethoscope!
- Don’t want a big do. Just a small get together, spending time with my 2/3 best friends makes it a perfect birthday for me. Don’t like the hype much.
Q.3) Comment on the latest current affairs?
- Emm, not sure what’s going on out there. Was there a flood? I was in the library. We don’t get newspapers or TV there. And of course, no social media for me either. Isn’t there enough to know in medical college without burdening our brains with current affairs as well?
- They need to legalize Marijuana. Like, right now.
- Okay, what would you like me to talk about? Flooding in Assam? The NMC bill? The slowdown in economic growth? Brexit? Climate emergencies? I may not be an expert but I do know it all!
- The news is that the organization which I am president of is organizing a seminar on Reproductive rights. We’re going to be talking about how language affects gender-based discrimination. I’m the expert. #womansrights
- I’m always a little scared to read the news. Why is everything so depressing? I cried when I read about the attack on doctors. I was depressed for days after the news about the Syrian refugee children who died after they drowned in the Mediterranean Sea.
- Did you know they invented a new technology that helps interns get veins using UV light? Also, Kenny Sebastian released a new video about medicos. MEDICAL RELATED!
- I know everything. And more. Including the things that most people don’t know. But I’d rather not comment on anything. Once said, who knows who could use my views against me? Best to keep my opinions to myself and hear the rest talk.
Q.4)What’s your hobby?
- Reading, definitely. Sitting in the library on a rainy afternoon with a nice flask of chai/coffee and Robbins.
- Weed. Match. Daru. Football/cricket when I decide to leave my room. And of course, stalking that hot senior chick on social media.
- Oh, I love dancing. And singing. I also go for Rifle shooting classes every weekend. I love reading novels. Also play the guitar. Try to make time for football practise when I can. Anything to keep myself busy. After all, a rolling stone gathers no moss!
- I’m a people person. I love talking to other people and networking. Spend mostof my time talking to people on the phone/ replying on Whatsapp to my 458 unread messages/ trying to keep my instanewsfeed ticking. And I’m great at it.
- I think we should all be passionate about things we care about. I love animals. I am also a member of PETA. Go for all their rallies. My hobby is fighting about things I care very deeply about.
- IV CANNULATION! Did a perfect central line yesterday!
- Finding out about other people’s lives. I’m the class stalker- I know everything about everybody. Information is power!
Q.5) Your average college day?
- Went to class in the morning. The rest of the day was a peaceful and efficient day spent finishing the WHOLE of haematology. Super-efficient!
- There’s a new and super pretty junior in the college. Spent the day trying to get her number. Also, college elections are around the corner, so lots of charcha to be had in the hostel. Postings? Nah, not really, don’t feel like attending today. There’s so much to do in my room! Like sleep.
- Went for postings. Attended the lectures. Brainstorming with the Magazine team. Meeting with my research guide. Practise with the dance team. Quick game of Badminton. Then home, for a well-deserved rest.
- Had students from 10 different medical colleges here today to attend the workshop I organized. Had a few last-minute glitches but I’m now a pro at handling them, so all went smoothly.
- There was a patient who was told his leg was to be amputated in the ward. Nobody was with him to help him bear his pain and the resident only spent 5 minutes with him! So I spent 1 hour counselling him. I’m sure he will feel better now!
- OMG, WHAT A DAY! Did 20 blood collections, 15 IV cannulations, 1 faecal dis-impaction, 3 suturings and 13 catherizations! Also saw some really really cool X-rays!
- Went for postings. Managed to get a secret clinic organized by the resident on duty. Only for the 4 of us! Also joined an online super group for PG NEET. But with a different username. So that no one can know I’m studying for PG NEET.
Q.6) What’s your idea of a perfect date?
- Dating? Really don’t have the time for that now. When I did, back in 2nd year, we did have some amazing dates studying together in the library.
- Hot chick, movie theatre. Or maybe just at home. After all, I do have Netflix and I’m super chill.
- A romantic candlelight dinner in a place with a fantastic view. With a person who is just like me. Can talk about just about anything, plays a sport. Met him/her at an intercollege event. Plus, he/she’s also great academically. Together, we have a brilliant genetic blueprint!
- Spontaneous date with someone I met at a national/international event! We travel a lot together too!
- An organic food café. With a nice ambience. Quiet and peaceful where we can have some great conversation. Someone who really cares about the environment. And animals. Preferably vegan.
- Definitely HAS to be a doctor. We did a round of all the wards of the hospital yesterday, looking for interesting cases. She’s also equally enthusiastic as I am!
- I like dates in nice quiet private places. Somewhere where no one will be able to spot me. I’ve had a boyfriend for 3 years but I don’t tell anyone, so no one knows.
Mostly A’s: The overly academic
This subspecies is all work and no play. The overly academic remembers every word of every line of every paragraph of the book. They are in a faithful relationship with their marks. They have no social media accounts and don’t attend parties because it wastes their time. They often have weak general knowledge because reading newspapers or watching TV also wastes their precious time. They breathe medicine, talk medicine, and vomit medicine. They don’t possess close friends except their best friend “Robbins”.
Mostly B’s: The doubtful admission
This subspecies is the exact opposite of the overly academic. They don’t like attending classes and are more interested in their own ‘interesting lives’. Some of them may be quite smart and they are frequently overheard saying “Padhne pe aayatoh top karletatha par chhod do yaar” (If I put my mind to studying, I can ace my exams. But forget it, dude).
Most of them are easily recognised by their obvious lack of medical knowledge. Their stupid questions like “Yaaryai Liver haiya Lung” (Is this the Liver or the Lung?) will make you wonder how they landed in medical school in the first place. And until they pull up their socks, you can’t help but feel sorry for their future victims- the patients.
Mostly C’s: The multi-talented
These are the versatile students of medical universities. They have married medicine but are also in a side relationship with another passion/hobby. They are the singers, the dancers, the writers and the photographers. They are a cool group of people and the life of social events. They have lots of friends belonging to lots of different groups. They generally also do fairly well academically.
Mostly D’s: The event organisers
These are some of the famous (or notorious) people at university. Their posts will keep your Facebook newsfeed ticking over with reminders about the biggest event in the history that is going to be organised by them. Once the event is over, they will fill your newsfeed with #SuccessfulEvent statuses. They have contacts with almost everyone from the caterers to the stage decorators to the DJ wale babus. They know loads of people from different colleges because they have been a part of so many different events all over the place.
Mostly E’s: The sensitive soul
Having a congenitally high vasovagal response, this student has a tendency to faint and fall even before the surgery patient on general anaesthesia becomes unconscious. They are pathologically afraid of blood and bodily fluids. Eyes always ready to well up tears at the least of things, they take each patients’ pain as if it were their own. They are perpetually horrified at the state of affairs in hospitals and around the world. They are very passionate about making the world a better place. World peace and happiness and brotherhood is what they aim for.
Mostly F’s: The enthusiast
This student decided to become a doctor during his/her intrauterine life. They just LOVE medicine. Everything in medical school interests them and their social media statuses are also proof of their romantic relationship with medicine. Often overheard talking about the latest cool procedure they did. Spend most of their time in the wards/minor OT/Casualty and are happy to be there!
Mostly G’s: The Mark Zuckerberg
This student doesn’t like anyone to know what’s going on in his/her life. She’s always afraid that someone might find out her secrets and is paranoid about her life’s goals being exposed. She’s an expert at flying under the radar and you’ll only get to know she’s done an internship at Yale after she’s come back home. Still, they are aware of everything that’s going on and experts at getting information from other people, especially information that they put to use very well. Doesn’t have very many friends as she can’t be open with them either.
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