2024: Diary of Dr INTAAAN!
Taj Prabhugaunker; MBBS Intern
GMC Goa
Sometimes it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.
~ Drake
Yup, I should’ve been warned by my professional journey. But no, just like you, I ignored the red flags too. So here we are. And that was most of the last 4.5 years – being the competency-based-medical-education guinea pigs; wasting hundreds of pens on the seemingly important LOGbooks and journals (which probably contributed more towards global warming than to my education); but hey, experimenting on our khoon and susu was fun (although this sounds adorbs now, collecting it in the fancy tall glasses was pretty yucky for the first time). All in all, what I want to say through this pointless rant is that, to officially add this prestigious prefix of Dr to my already infamous name, I’ve had to navigate through a rollercoaster bunch of years that felt like a lifetime. And yet, all of it felt so right, after the final year result made sure that my acche din were about to herald. But did they? You’ll $oon find out (here, the dollar sign is to manifest my ever-pending internship stipend).
Day 1: Daksaaab Zara Dekhlo.
Well, ab millimetre; centimetre ban gaya tha. So, even I shifted from a half-sleeved to a full-sleeved apron and swapped my microtone with a brand new Littman.
Sitting across from my resident for the first OPD, it was overwhelming to see the never-ending lines of patients waving their almost tattered files and papers mid-air.
Well, the super-excited me made sure to curb all delays and give my undivided attention to the first patient who flung his file at me. Mid-history-taking the resident realised that I had no idea about the rainbow of investigation forms arranged for me to write. And that’s where they realised, ki ye toh ‘baby intern’ hai. Here’s when the senior intern stepped in. She explained the hierarchy of work: bas form aur prescription likho; patients resident ko dekhne do – a sneak peek into visualising the very fine line separating an intern from a clerk (no offence). But not gonna lie, I got an immensely dignified feeling when they’d call for the intern and I’d go to help (to accompany the patient for a CT-head). However dumb the work was, at least I’m not a UG med student anymore!
Day 30: Dumb waaaaysss to Die!
Never could’ve felt a viral Instagram reel so relatable if not for the barrage of embarrassing events that unfolded before me 10 days ago (yes, you read it right. I did it all on 1 single day – within 3 hours to be precise).
- I brought a patient into the OT, THROUGH THE SCRUB ROOM, IN FRONT OF THE HoD of Surgery while wishing him a good morning, despite my PGY1 frantically trying to signal me to abort my mission that would bring doom to his reputation on the first day of my OT posting. The OT staff made sure to tell me that my stars were on their best behaviour because the HOD decided to spare my ridiculous move. Phew.
- I was too traumatised by the scrub room event that I forgot I was scrubbed in and touched the cautery wire with my super sterile gloves. It was the shittiest basic goof-up that an intern is expected to do. So, my senior resident (who took 3 seconds to let it sink in and diagnose what abnormal move I’d done this time), just laughed it off. May God bless his soul.
- This was the finale.
The climax was that NO intern had ever had the balls or brains to do it before.
I put off the main OT lights, while the HOD, 2 consultants, and 2 residents were conducting surgery. I rectified the deed within 2 seconds, but if looks could kill, I’d be 1000 feet underground. I really can’t fathom how, but my neurons detected the urgent need to switch them off when they shouted for “LIGHTS!”. It was the last straw. Nothing happened. I think by this time they had accepted that I was probably blessed with butterfingers while in OT. But I had made a mental note in bold, italics and underline, to NEVER ever enter the OT again..but of course, I did enter – to scrub in for multiple cases (to click pictures for the gram) and I promise I’ve not done a single mess since then.
Day 365: Mixed Feelings- Am I really a Doctor?
Although my provisional registration number in the medical council has made sure to document that I AM a doctor, I’d be lying if I told you that I am confident enough to accept that feeling.
Why?
Well,
- Firstly, the patients were too convinced that a female doctor is a SHISTERRRR.
- Secondly, I’m too comfortable telling patients to go to the Bade Doctor for all minor inconveniences caused to me.
- I can’t identify the difference between a resident or intern doctor and a mazdoor. It’s the same.
“Aye Intaaaan” is the most irritating and puke-inducing greeting ever. At the same time, it’s a crossroad for us. To work in a simulated environment with little responsibility and loads of lessons + skills to learn, protected under the wing’s residents – who I’ve grown very fond of at the end of every posting (after suspiciously hating on them for the first few days of the rotation of course).
What did I love the most about being an intern? All the treats (food and skills) I’ve got.
What did I not like the most? The duties (we all know which departments to hate)
Was it the best time ever?
Enjoy your internship to the fullest, those days will never come again!
~ Every outgoing intern.
Was it a good decision to work for the prefix?
Hell Yeah!
