CODE LOL
A comic tale by Anahat and Mehar
Meet the Gang
Dr. Arjun (aka Dr. Internist)
Aspiring to pursue an MD in Internal Medicine, Dr. Arjun is focused, an overachiever, confident and witty. He strives for perfection in every work he does.
Dr. Chetan (aka Dr. Strong)
With his eyes set on becoming a top surgeon, Dr Chetan is level-headed, resilient, clever and funny. His demeanour resonated perfectly with his resolute nature.
Dr. Gauri (aka Dr. Gynac)
Wanting to pursue her dream of becoming a gynaecologist, Dr Gauri is a combination of enthusiasm, optimism, humor and fashion. She often enjoys sketching as a way to lighten out the stress of the medical field.
Mr. Aarav (aka Mr. Techie)
A tech guru, Mr Aarav is a perfect balance of calm and composure. He is a self-proclaimed geek who finds comfort in coding rather than communication.
Dr Arjun, Dr Gauri, Dr Chetan and Mr Teckie are “forever” buddies. They try to meet each other or do video calls, whenever possible out of their busy schedules. They are one lab accident/radiation exposure away from being a permanent fixture here in this magazine.
- The Hospital Canteen Chronicles –
Where tea is stronger than our resolve and the real diagnosis is always a mental breakdown away.
(all four characters are chilling around a table, enjoying a rare break)
Dr Arjun: (frustrated) Yaar, I spent the whole night trying to crack this one case – a person, alive and talking with no recordable Blood Pressure. Even dreamt about it. Then, in the morning, I realized… I was taking BP with the stethoscope off!
Dr Chetan : (grinning) Next time, just tell the patient, ‘It’s stress from your best friend scoring more than you! iykyk (eyes rolling)
Dr. Gauri: (stuttered laugh) Or maybe it’s just stress from dealing with your OCD co-intern. The real villain here, there and everywhere.
Dr. Arjun: He’s a psycho.
Dr. Gauri: I still remember his surgery viva. He literally recalled the steps of laparoscopic cholecystectomy verbatim. The professor just looked at him and said, Kya jhooth bol raha hai? I couldn’t stop laughing! While I appreciate his memory, his skills are more suited as an examiner than a doctor.
Dr. Chetan: Bhai, the way the professor tore into me that day, it was like I didn’t even exist. Felt like I was getting an emotional biopsy, with the thickest Jamshidi needle imaginable.
Mr. Aarav : (laughing) Maybe I should write some code to help you guys cheat better. DEBUGGING YOUR LIES!
Dr. Arjun : (teasing) Or maybe you could program something to keep our intern from wasting time during rounds.
Dr. Gauri : Arre yaar! That’s an acceptable technique to pass the time. Also, sketching is how I stay sane. Just last week, I turned my cranky professor into a cartoon. Instant stress relief, with a hint of sadistic pleasure.
- The Art of Passing Time:
When life gives you rounds, make rounds of fun.
(Friends meet each other on their way to their respective departments.)
Dr. Arjun: So, what’s everyone’s secret to surviving this madness? Apart from taking BP with your stethoscope off.
Dr. Chetan: (smirking) I’m all about sarcasm, yaar. It’s the best weapon in the OT and life otherwise.
Dr. Gauri: I sketch, obviously. I’m also trying to design a fashion line inspired by hospital scrubs. SCRUBS, but make it STYLISH, like making the waist thread longer and in fluorescent colours. (Because even though it’s 2024, the writers have kept me true to the stereotype!) – in case there was no stereotyping joke earlier.
Mr. Aarav: I play around with AI. But mostly, I’m just trying to understand your medical slang or your handwriting. I mean a toddler could write more legibly with a pen between its teeth.
- ER Antics
Unless the decibel level breaches 80, or it’s a Labor room, it’s not an emergency. (Suddenly, an announcement blares about an emergency creating chaos in the ER)
Dr Chetan: calmly sipping chai Ughh! I just can’t go back! Time to face the music.
Dr. Arjun: Chalo team! This time, no more stethoscope-off BP readings!
Dr Gauri: Unless it’s mixing up some fashion advice on rounds! (Breaks the fourth wall and looks at the audience)
Dr. Chetan : (grinning) Yaaaar, welcome to the OT of life. One wrong move and it’s straight to ‘intensive verbal care’, minus the care.
Dr. Gauri: (nodding) And don’t even get me started on the seniors. ‘Intern ka kaam hai yeh karna!’ – as if we’re supposed to be an expert at everything – from delivering babies to fixing the AC. From ordering food to getting the reports. I swear one of these days they’ll make me deliver vegetables to their kitchens.
Dr. Arjun: (sarcastically) And of course, they expect us to ‘know it all.’ Like today, I was told to ‘diagnose on sight.’ Bro, I’m not Google MD! I can’t always say “it’s cancer”.
Dr. Chetan: (laughing) Or the classic, ‘Why don’t you know this? It’s so basic!’ Like, dude, if it was basic, I wouldn’t be standing here!
Dr. Gauri: Hey, that reminds me, I need you to cover the ER for me today. I have a date tonight. (Feminism cries at a distance)
Dr Chetan: (playfully) You’re leaving me here while you go on a date? What if something serious happens?
Dr. Gauri: Don’t worry! I know you’ll manage. If anyone asks, I’m busy with important stuff. See ya!
Dr. Chetan: Yeah right. More like ‘important stuff’ involving dinner and a movie.
Dr. Gauri: Good luck! And remember, don’t get too romantic while you’re supposed to be saving lives.
Repeated calls from the resident
Dr. Arjun: (annoyed) Why do I keep getting these calls? Can I ever get some peace at work?
Dr Chetan: (laughing) You’ll only get some REST IN PEACE.
Everyone disperses
4.A Tele-Consultation
Acute Esophageal Pain. Treatment? More Sarcasm, Stat!
Mr Aarav: Guys, I’ve been feeling this weird pain in my oesophagus whenever I’m stressed. Is that normal?
Dr. Arjun: Woah, that’s unusual! Esophagus pain due to anxiety? That’s a new one.
Dr Chetan: (laughing) Maybe your oesophagus is having a midlife crisis. How many kidneys do you have again? One or three? Maybe one’s just trying to escape the stress.
Dr. Arjun: Or maybe it’s protesting his existence in your body.
Mr Aarav: (pointing at his chest) SHUT UP! I know.
- Movie Night Revelations: When Medicos Go Off-Duty
When you turn to friends for medical advice and get prescribed a dose of sarcasm instead
Mr. Aarav: Hey guys. Since you’re all here, can you take a look at something?
Dr. Chetan: Sure! What’s up?
Dr. Gauri: I feel like I’m getting viva-zoned!
Mr Aarav rolls up his sleeve to show a small rash on his arm.
Mr Aarav: I’ve had this rash for a couple of days. Can you guys tell me what is it and what to do??
Dr. Gauri: (sarcastically) Yes! Let me just get my lab coat and microscope.
Dr. Chetan: Hey we’re not dermatologists, and we don’t have our tools here.
Mr. Aarav: What tools?? Isn’t this basic stuff? Is this out of the syllabus?
Dr. Chetan: (Pretending to be the wisest) We can give you an idea and possibly suggest you some tests. But we can’t give you a definite diagnosis.
Dr. Gauri: Besides, if we diagnose you right away, we’re billing you for consultation.
Mr. Aarav: AHHH! Just tell me your best guess. Cmon! This rash is making me all worried now.
Dr. Chetan: This could be an allergic rash. Any change in medicines? New body products?
Mr. Aarav: Nope! I’ll try not to use you guys as my on-call doctors. Googling my symptoms was way better than your efforts. Anyway, let’s just get back to the movie!
- Medicine vs. Surgery: The Never-Ending Battle of Brains and Blades
When Lunch Breaks Turn Into Surgical Strikes
The group is having lunch together, with the usual playful banter about which speciality is superior.
Dr. Arjun: You know, Surgery is just glorified carpentry. These guys cut, sew, and call it a day. Medicine guys actually think. They do all the brain-storming – from diagnosing to managing, they play it real.
Dr. Chetan: That’s because surgery is the real art. Medicine is just a guessing game. If the guess is right, good, otherwise, Idiopathic. They just throw a bunch of drugs at the patient and hope something works. We, on the other hand, have to work with a lot of precision and skill.
Dr. Arjun: They value accuracy over precision. Thinking about the patient’s entire life and not just one day. Meanwhile, you’re out there acting like every problem can be solved with a knife, and screaming at the scrubbed nurse.
Dr. Chetan: Yeah right! At least we have the guts to make a decision and act on it. Medicine folks are still running tests when we’re already halfway through the surgery.
Dr. Gauri: Ahh, the eternal debate! Stop it, you guys. It’s money you both will have in common.
They all try to laugh but end up crying.
Dr. Chetan : (dreaming) Which obviously I would have more.
7.The Gulab Jamun Gambit – Sweet Revenge
A little rebellion goes a long way when you’re tired of running errands – Intern
Resident calls Dr Chetan: Hey, go grab half-kg gulab jamuns for the party tonight. And make it quick, okay? JUST MAKE SURE they’re fresh and don’t take forever.
Dr. Chetan : (angrily) Repeats the orders to his friends as he meets them in the corridor. I’m so done. Why don’t they just Zomato? I wonder what their life would have been without me.
Dr Gauri : (laughing) TASTE-LESS! I would say.
Dr. Chetan walks away.
A few minutes later at the sweet shop.
Dr. Chetan: Hi uncle! Show me the most expensive sweets you have. Very fancy! Want to treat a very special guest.
Shopkeeper: How about some premium kesar pista ladoos and almond barfis? They’re twice the price of gulab jamuns.
Dr Chetan : (smirking) Perfect! Pack them up.
Reaches back to the hospital
Resident: What took you so long? And what’s this? They don’t like gulab jamuns.
Dr Chetan : (pretending to be innocent) They were out of gulab jamuns, so I got the best thing they had. These are way better, trust me.
Resident : (inspecting) These must have cost you a fortune!!
Dr. Chetan: The best for our celebration, right?
Resident : (half-amused, half-annoyed) Next time, just stick to the list.
Gpay notification rings
Dr. Chetan: Sure thing! But remember, you asked for the best.
Dr. Chetan leaves the room, chuckling at his small act of rebellion.
-xxx-
Cartoonists
Mehar Kaur Bhatia
Medical Intern
Government Medical College Patiala, Punjab
Bio : Doctor by day, dreamer by night – finding balance between duties and delight!
Anahat Kaur Chatha
Medical Intern
Sri Guru Ram Das Institute of Medical Sciences and Research, Amritsar, Punjab
Bio : Curious and compassionate individual on path becoming highly skilled and empathetic doctor
