Sharmaji London Waley
They say that the proof is in the pudding. Despite living in Birmingham, being asked to write an article on “Sharmaji London waley” is the perfect testimony to this. Yes, most of my relatives think that going to the United Kingdom (UK) or Great Britain or England (they are all the same to them) means that you are living in London. Even after repeated corrections, they will always ask you “How is London doing?” The relatives who know that Birmingham exists in England will feel really sorry for me as they think that leaving India to live next to truckloads of Indians outside India without the perks of authentic butter chicken is a punishment.
I came to England in July 2020 between the first two waves of Covid-19. Yes, I was that desperate. Like the Royal Stag advertisement, I have always asked myself “Have I made it large?”, and the moment I got a chance to fly to anything that was remotely braggable, I just packed my bags and took the first flight when they opened.
The transition from India, a hot and humid tropical country, to the cold and wet weather of the UK was a rather surprising one. I realised that while talking to local people here, the rule of thumb is that whenever in doubt, say sorry and if still in doubt, just say thank you. So, the country was cold, but the people were not. The traditional English manners that they taught us in schools in India but never practised on the roads were on display here and I am sure Virat Kohli will struggle to adjust to life here.
Like in India, the British English accent changes with every city and understanding the accent can be tough sometimes. I got used to it initially just by nodding my head and later by actually understanding it. Having followed Chelsea football club for most of my life as a fan, it helped me pronounce most of the English cities correctly right from the start. However, at work, it was difficult to understand when they said something like “The blood pressure of the patient is pants”. I had to google every time someone used a slang word to describe medical terms in hospitals and slowly, I started questioning the requirement of learning Queen’s English to clear those expensive language tests back home just to come here. Benedict Cumberbatch is an aberration; Ricky Gervais was the reality.
It has been four years now since I first stepped foot here, and I can see notable differences in my body. The free chips (read: French fries) that they give with every meal here have made me slower and fatter. The ease of taking my four-week annual NHS leaves and spending them sitting on my couch has added layers to my dad-bod. I remember asking my Head-of-Department in India for two days off from work and he got angry as if I had asked for his daughter’s hand or proof of contribution to all the research papers published in his name. Although there are plenty of parks to play around, the selling of beer and whiskey at every nook and corner on the way to those grounds has made sure I never reach them. A big cultural trait I saw here is that British people mostly prefer wine and gin, and ‘Scotch’ single malts are consumed more back home in India than here.
My daughter has picked up speaking English like a fish to water. It feels satisfying when she says “Excuse me” every time she burps because my initial reaction after burping has mostly been “Thank God I can eat some more now”. After the initial struggles of trying to understand people outside the home, the problem has now been internalized. Both my wife and I have to listen to our daughter really carefully now to make sense of what she is saying. I was the first doctor in my family and there has always been pressure on me to make sure that the tradition continues. I am sure my daughter will continue this by becoming a veterinary doctor here as I think there are more pet dogs and cats than people here.
We have been seeing riots here in England recently and a peculiar part about them has been that here they concentrate more on looting shops compared to killing people in the subcontinent. Still, the support we get in the NHS from our British colleagues is amazing and I will probably live here a bit longer. Maybe till the time someone from India will call and ask me “How is Birmingham?”
Bio: Own goal specialist though never played football. Making everyone sleep while staying awake, an anaesthesiologist right from the time I was born. With my brother as the ‘Director of Edition’, I am trying to be Chirag Paswan of the literary world – Nepotism with a difference.
