To The Psychiatrist
Written by Varsha Kunwaha, MBBS 3rd Yr, Grant Govt Medical College & Sir JJ Group of Hospitals
When you stepped into the hospital for the very first time with your fellow batch mates, you were the very few among your batch who didn’t get scared by threat. You might not have been the bravest, because you believed that bravery existed in facing all kinds of traumatic horrible-looking wounds in the emergency ward. But you surely possessed courage; courage to face patients who looked like they were ready to kill anyone; even in this era of increasing violence against doctors. An uncontrolled mind didn’t succeed in scaring you. You possessed enough patience to listen to patients ranting the same thing ten times at least; patients who came to you only to cry; or patients who thought you were a quack & claimed themselves to be the prime minister of India; with a confidence you could never have in your NEET PG exam even clearing each grand test of Marrow with rank 10.
You were also the one who wished to comfort a patient facing severe depression the very next day after you had cried all night. You were the one who thought of helping those with anxiety at the same time you were anxious of your exams & vivas & journals & entrance and family and career & money & what not of the never ending list.
And above all, you wished to plunder deep into uncertainty. Yes, you cared of what could be seen on tests & scans. But you choose to fall in love with what was unseen. You went to look beyond what the patients chief compaints where; you didnt take a break at what the patient or his family said, you explored what they didn’t, or couldn’t. You chose to believe in faith more than in numbers; you trusted possiblity rather than the probability. You didn’t stop at the anatomy or physiology or pathology of the tangible. You looked beyond the abstract.
You didnt stop at treatment. You took a step beyond; or probably a lot more steps. You went to heal; heal wounds that time failed to fill. Only God must know how much extra miles you walked with the patient; even without knowing the destination.
You weren’t just a doctor, you were a healer too.
Perhaps you wiped your few tears secretly back when you were a UG student posted in the psychiatry ward; when you weren’t used to hear lifetime tragedies. Perhaps your heart broke for the kids who were diagnosed with intellectual disability. Perhaps you were the one to tell a parent that there wasn’t a cure. Known yet. Back then, you learnt to fight your melting tears & breaking heart because you knew you couldn’t help if you didn’t keep your own sanity together. Perhaps you fight that battle even today.
True, all those of who became doctors didn’t ever run away. Yes, all of them choose to face sorrow & suffering eye to eye. But you chose to face sorrow at its root; you didn’t fight using just your brain. You fought with your heart too.
You didn’t care that you will see one patient in 1 hour while your medicine counterparts, 6 or 10. You became what the world knows as psychiatrist. Perhaps you had to explain at least 10 times to your parents why you didn’t choose a surgery or radiology or what not field. Perhaps you broke few hearts in your family by not choosing cardiology.
But you fixed a thousand. And there are several thousand ahead; waiting for your healing touch, or maybe, just your voice.
About the Author: Varsha is a medico by brains & a writer by heart. Living in Mumbai, she is an MBBS student in Grant Medical College; and dreams to inspire & change & heal. She loves books & is fond of traveling as well. Most of her writings are inspired by real life experiences & places & people.